Jokes on the relationship of husband and wife are more hilarious. Here are some of such jokes that can get you turned on in case you are getting bored.


One night, a husband and wife were having a conversation over dinner:
Wife: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

Husband: Definitely not!

Wife: Why not - don't you like being married?

Husband: Of course I do.

Wife: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

Husband: Okay, I'd get married again.

Wife: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)

Husband: (makes audible groan)

Wife: Would you sleep with her in our bed?

Husband: Where else would we sleep?

Wife: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?

Husband: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

Wife: And would you let her use my golf clubs?

Husband: She can't use them; she's left-handed.

Wife: - - - silence - - -

Husband: shit.shit.shit.....
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A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, "Holy crap. That must be my husband!"

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, "Yeah, then why were you running?"

And then the fight started...
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A wife goes to the local market to buy some organic vegetables for her husbands. She came back rather upset.

When her husband asked her what was wrong, she said, "I don't think I like that produce guy. I went and looked around for organic vegetables and I couldn't find any. So I asked him, 'Where the organic Vegetables were?' He didn't know what I was talking about so I said, 'These vegetables are for my husbands. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?

And he said, 'No, ma'am. You'll have to do that yourself'."
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Billy and Joe were talking one afternoon. Billy tells Joe, "You know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation."

He continues, "Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Eva got pregnant."

"Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Eva got pregnant again."

"Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Eva didn't get pregnant again."

Joe asks Billy, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy says, "This year I'm taking Eva with me."
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Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is."

"Of course I do," he irritatingly answered, going out the door to the office.

At 11 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a bouquet of red roses. At 2 PM, a two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.

"First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful 'Children's Day' in all my life!"
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The other day, it was my turn to prepare dinner, so I asked my wife to go over to the local market and buy some organic vegetables.

She came back rather upset. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "I don't think I like that produce guy. I went and looked around for your organic vegetables and I couldn't find any. So I asked him where the organic vegetables were."

"He didn't know what I was talking about, so I said, 'These vegetables are for my husband. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?'"

"And he said, 'No, ma'am. You'll have to do that yourself.'"
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