All jokes on the interplay of doctors and patients.


पठान की टाँग में कट लग गया। नर्स ने कहा, “इसमें 10 टाँके लगेंगे।”
पठान- “कितना खर्चा लगेगा ?”
नर्स – “3000 रूपये ।”
पठान – “टाँका लगवाना है कोई कढ़ाई नहीं करवानी।”

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The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.
"Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac (a woman who likes to have sex very often, esp. with lots of different men)."
"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."
"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
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An old woman went to see her doctor about her constipation problem.

"It's horrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a week."

"I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor.

"Yes, doctor," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a 20 minutes in the morning and again at night."

"No," the doctor said, 'I mean do you take anything?"

"Naturally," she answered, "I take a book."
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बेयरा : “अरे-अरे बाबु जी, आप ये चम्मच किससे पूछकर ले रहे हैं”?

दयानन्द : “ड़ॉक्टर के हुकम से”।

बेयरा : “क्या मतलब”।

जेब से दवा की शीशी निकाल कर दिखाते हुए दयानन्द : “देखो, दवा की इस शीशी पर लिखा है.....खाना खाने के बाद दो चम्मच ले लें”।

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A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting.

"You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear." At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man's anus, and then licks it. He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of them. After a couple of minutes silence, they follow suit.

"The second thing is that you must have an acute sense of observation: I stuck my middle finger into the corpse's anus, but I licked my index."
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A dentist ran out of anesthetic just before the last extraction for the day was scheduled.

He gave the nurse a very large needle, instructing her to jab it hard into the patient's butt when the signal was given, so it would take his attention away from the tooth extraction.

It all happened in an instant. The nurse, patient, and pliers were in place.

The signal was given, and the nurse bayoneted the patient with the needle just as the dentist yanked the tooth.

Afterwards, the dentist asked, "Hurt much?"

The patient hesitated, "Didn't hardly feel it come out. And, man, those roots were really deep!"
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