Bechaara shaadi shuda aadmi dukhi bhi nahi ho sakta...
Wife: I love you baby. Husband (softly): I love you too. Wife: Upset kyun lag rahe ho...??? Husband: Bas thoda mood off tha. Wife: Doston ke saath to bade khush rehte ho, aur mere saath hi drame. Husband (pyar se): Aisa kuch nahi jaanu, tabiyat thodi theek nahi hai. Wife: Haan, agar abhi koi dost phone kare to 2 sec mein tabiyat theek ho jayegi. Husband: Dost kahan se aa gaye,
Bank mein customer ne cheque dete hue poochha: Madam yeh kitne dino mein clear ho jaayega.
Madam: Kam se kam do-teen din lagenge.
Customer: Lekin madam itna time kyon lagega? Jis bank ka cheque maine diya hai woh to saamne waali duilding mein hi hai.
Madam (Bade hi shaant swar mein): Sir main aapko kaise samjhun, procedure to follow karna hi padta hai na. Maan leejiye ki aap shamshaan ke saamne hi mar jaate hain to ghar waale aapki laash ko ghar le jaayenge ya wahin saamne nipta denge. Boliye?
A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25-year-old fashion model. They had a wonderful honeymoon in Switzerland but, unfortunately, the old boy suffered a coronary and was hospitalised.
When his young wife came to see him, the old man said, "Sweetheart, your future has been taken care of regardless of what happens to me. You will have an income of $250,000 a year, my home in Palm Springs, my ranch in Texas, my Mercedes. You'll never need to worry about money."
"Oh, sweetheart, please don't talk that way," his young wife exclaimed. "You've been so good to me already. If you go, I'll be devastated. Oh, there must be something I can do to help you. Please... tell me what I can do?"
"Well," the old man gasped, "you can quit pinching the inlet tube to my oxygen supply for starters."
Virtually every professional discipline within the American Medical Association's membership has decided to weigh in on the new health care plan being developed by President Obama's team, with varying thoughts and recommendations.
The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The colonel had three Second Lieutenants eligible for promotion. The problem was, he only had one First Lieutenant Slot available.
The colonel called the first candidate his office and said, "This is a promotion test. If I was to tell you that I wanted a flag pole erected in front of Post HQ by 1500, what would you do?"
The Lt. thought about it for a second, and said, "Sir. I would get a shovel, head for HQ and start digging. "