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An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.

The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"

The old gentleman answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but please cut each one into 4 pieces."

The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good."

The elderly gentleman said, "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore, as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."
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An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.
The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"
The woman turns to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled, "He says you were speeding!"
The patrolman said, "May I see your license?"
The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled, "He wants to see your license!" The woman gave him her license.
The patrolman said, "I see you are from Texas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."
The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?"
The old man yelled, "He thinks he knows you!"
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Amy phones her husband at work, "Sam, do you have time for a chat?"

"Sorry, darling, this is not a good time - I'm about to go into a board meeting."

"But this won't take long," Amy says, "I just want to tell you some good news and some bad news."

"I really haven't the time," says Sam, "so just quickly tell me the good news."

"Oh all right then, the good news is that the air bag on your new Lexus works very well."
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A blonde was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.

The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"

"Yes," she answered, "Do you need a lift?"

"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on
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Patni: Chalo Ek Khel Khelte Hain... Main Chhupti Hoon Aur Aap Mujhe Dhoondhna. Agar Aapne Dhoondh Liya Toh Main Aapke Saath Shopping Karne Chalungi.
Pati: Aur Agar Nahin Dhoondh Paya Toh ?
Patni: Aaisa Mat Kaho Jaanu...... Bas Darwaje Ke Peechhe Hee Chhupoongi ...!!!

Ek Aurat Apne Boyfriend Ke Saath Bazaar Mein Ghoom Rahi Thee Ki Tabhi Uska Pati Mila Gaya.
Pati Ne Boyfriend Ko Peetna Shuru kar Diya.
Aurat: Maaro Saaley Ko... Apni Biwi Ko Kabhi Ghumaane
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A guy walked into a bar with a monkey. The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them. Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them. He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed one of the balls. To everyone's amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow swallowed it whole.

The bartender looked at the guy and said, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

"No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"

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