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A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"

"Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very weak."

The son says, "Why are you so weak?"

She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."

The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"

The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be full of food if you should call."
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On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined Rs. 50 the first time.",
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined Rs. 75. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of Rs.150. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"
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Ladki: Bhai saab, is mirror ka kya rate hai???

Shopkeeper: Iska rate? Yeh sirf 100 Rs ka behanji.

Ladki: Aur is waale ka kitna hai?

Shopkeeper: Iska ji sirf 200 Rs hai.

Ladki: Aur Bhaiya iska kitna hai, ye jo red colour ka hai?

Shopkeeper: Iska ji sirf 1000 Rs hai.

Ladki: Ohh...!!! Itna mehnga? Kya khaas baat hai is sheeshe mein???

Shopkeeper: Madam ji agar aap isko 100 floor se niche girao toh ye mirror 99 floors tak nai tutega... arre tutega kya behan ji, isko kuch bhi hi nahin hoga.

Ladki: Wah, kya baat hai! Bhaiya 2 piece pack kar do.
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Two guys, of limited intelligence, were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped under the surface. After floating under blazing heat, for 6 days, they ran out of food and water. On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an
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As the old man lies dying in the bedroom, out in the parlor the family discusses funeral arrangements.

Son Gary says, "We'll make a real big thing out of it. We'll have five hundred people. We'll order fifty limos."

Daughter Grace says, "Why do you want to waste money like that? We'll have the family and maybe a few friends. One limo just for us."

They proceed. Grandson Jeff says, "We'll have lots of flowers. We'll surround him with dozens of roses and lilies, dozens and dozens."

Daughter Alice says, "What a waste! We'll have one little bouquet, that's enough."

Suddenly, the voice of the old man is heard, wafting weakly from the bedroom, "Why don't you get me my pants? I'll walk to the cemetery."
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A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.

This means that the remaining 77% are caused by idiots who just drink tea, coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, yoghurt. Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents!!!
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More Articles ...

  1. The Civilized Couple
  2. How Was I Born?
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Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

Sports Article Count: 80

Techies Article Count: 66

Celebrities Article Count: 42

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