"Hello mate," says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Lawyers in heaven."
"What?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Lawyers."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Lawyer.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the guy, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh says St.Peter. anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 10 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?" "Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the boss."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your thirty dollars back, now take a hike!"
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