In the life of a common man, things are never serious. Starting from birth until the common man dies, everything remains so so common that you can make fun of almost everything. Some of such jokes can be found here.


During the Cold War, if USA launched a nuke-loaded missile, Soviet satellites would inform the Soviet army in 3 seconds and in less than 5 seconds Soviet counter-missiles would be on their way.

That was their scenario.

Now India Vs Pakistan Scenario

If there is a nuclear war between India and Pakistan. The Pakistan army decides to launch a nuke-missile towards India. They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly order the countdowns
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Two privates were handed shovels and told to bury a large, dead animal. While digging they got into an argument about what they were burying.

"This here's a big mule!"

"This ain't no mule, this here's a donkey."

"Mule!"

"Donkey!"

Well, this went on for a while until the camp priest came by. "What are you boys doing?"

"We're diggin' a grave for this mule."

"Donkey, dammit!"

The chaplain cut in, "Boys, this isn't either one, it's an ass."

An hour later, the camp commander came up and said, "What are you men doing, digging a foxhole?"

"No sir. We're digging an asshole."
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There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.

He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."

The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.

His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!!!!"
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To: All Employees
From: Personnel Department
RE: ABSENTEEISM

It has been brought to the attention of the Board that the attendance record of our company is a disgrace. It has now become necessary to revise some of our policies. The following changes take place immediately.

SICKNESS: No excuse. We will no longer accept your doctor's statement as proof, as we believe that if you are able to get to the doctor you are able to come to work.

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The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she mwould write notes when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right side.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again
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A man walked up to a farmer as he came out of a voting booth, "I'm from the CBI."
"What seems to be the trouble?"
"We happen to know that you accepted a bribe and sold your vote."
"That's not true. I voted for the candidate because I like him."
"Well, that's where we've got you. We have concrete evidence you accepted Rupees 10000 from him."
"Well, it's plain common sense. If someone gives you 10000 bucks, you're going to like him."
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