In the life of a common man, things are never serious. Starting from birth until the common man dies, everything remains so so common that you can make fun of almost everything. Some of such jokes can be found here.


A busload of new recruits arrived at the reception center, and was greeted by an old drill sergeant. He began his speech: "Welcome to Fort Dix,
men. From now on, I want you to think of the Army as your family and as your home."
Hearing this, one of the recruits broke formation, sat down and lit a cigarette.
"Private, what on earth are you doing?" asked the sergeant.
"Well," said the private, "I'm just making myself at home. Like you said, this is my home."
Thinking fast, the sergeant said, "Son, you listen good, and you're right. This is your home. So as soon as you finish that cigarette, I want you to report to the mess hall to help your mother with the dishes."
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Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.
"Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine, said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
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1. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it - mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, I tried to be a chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life
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A farmer has to go out to plow his rental field about 5-6 miles from his farm. To get there he must drive his tractor, and his dog old Joe trots along beside him. Halfway through the plowing, the tractor runs out of fuel.

He wanders out to the road and flags down a ride, which just happens to be a Ferrari.

The driver says, "You can have a ride, but that dog can't get in my car."

The farmer says, "Don't worry. Old Joe will keep up."

The
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Mulla Nasruddin called on a psychiatrist and told him that he had problems and needed help.

"I want to talk to you," said the Mulla, "because my ethics have not been what they should be and my conscience is bothering me."

"I understand," the psychiatrist said, "and you want me to help you build up a stronger will power, is that it?"

"NO," said Nasruddin, "THAT'S NOT IT. I WANT YOU TO TRY TO WEAKEN MY CONSCIENCE."
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The phone rings at KGB headquarters.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this KGB?"

"Yes. What do you want?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his firewood."

"This will be noted."

Next day, the KGB goons come over to Rabinovitz's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, and swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave.

The phone rings at Rabinovitz's house.

"Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?"

"Yes."

"Did they chop your firewood?"

"Yes, they did."

"Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."
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