In the life of a common man, things are never serious. Starting from birth until the common man dies, everything remains so so common that you can make fun of almost everything. Some of such jokes can be found here.


Sir Winston Churchill was once asked about his position on whisky. Here's how he answered:

"If you mean whisky, the devil's brew, the poison scourge, the bloody monster that defiles innocence, dethrones reason, destroys the home, creates misery and poverty, yea, literally takes the bread from the mouths of little children;
if you mean that evil drink that topples men and women from the pinnacles of righteous and gracious living into the bottomless pit of degradation
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Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory
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The soldier asked for a furlough, so that he might get married.

"How long have you known the Girl?" His superior asked.

"A Week."

"Why, my lad, that is hardly long enough. I suggest that you wait a couple of months, and then, if you still want to get married, I shall grant you a furlough."

In two months the soldier was back, reminding his superior of his promise.

"So you still want to get married? My, My ! I did not suppose that a young man would stay interested in the same girl for such a long time nowadays."

"I know, sir. But it is not the same girl, sir."
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George decides to take his boss Sam to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace.

George offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about 3/4ths of the way stops and jogs back. His boss asks what the problem is.

George said, "Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress.

Sam just shook his head at Joe and started towards the women determined to finish his round of golf.

Preparing to ask the ladies to hurry their game he too stopped short and turned around.

George asked, "What's wrong?"

Sam replies, "It's a small, small world George, and you're fired"
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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: Human Resources

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer tolerated.

We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating
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Things to learn from the movies:

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving
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