He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen, but he won't say what it is, so he asks Fr. Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes. He leads Fr. Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.
"Well," says the priest, "it's pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top."
"No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy.
"Oh my Lord," says Father Flanagan, "dropped toast never falls with the butter side up. It's a miracle... No... Wait... It's not for me to say it's a miracle. I'll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he'll have to deal with it. He'll send some people round; to interview you, take photographs, and so on..."
A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared. There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much need tourism revenue.
Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.
"It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe. Something has definitely happened which cannot be explained by Earthly means. Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle and all other explanations must be ruled out. And so, unfortunately for that very reason, in this case, it has been declared 'No Miracle' because they think that Murphy may have simply buttered the toast on the wrong side!"
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