You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You want to put clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.
You put on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.
Your twin forgot your birthday.
The boss tells you not to bother taking off your coat.
The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business.
Your blind date turns out to be your wife.
Your income tax cheque bounces.
You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
Your wife says 'Good morning Bill' and your name is Frank!
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