A fellow is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he's shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop! noise. "The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explains the guide. "The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple." Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a noise: 'Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!' "Wait a minute!" says the man taking the tour. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop!' every so often?" "Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says the guide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom." "Well, that can't be good for the condoms!" "Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
A man phoned his doctor very late at night saying his wife appeared to have Appendicitis.
"That's impossible," the physician replied, peeved at being woken up after midnight. "She had an appendectomy last year. Don't be stupid. Only a moron like you would wake me up for something this idiotic. Have you ever seen anybody with a second appendix?"
"No, you are the moron!" the husband replied. "Haven't you ever seen anybody with a second wife?"
A girl was too vain to wear glasses, but she always managed to conceal completely the fact that she was very, very shortsighted. In due course she got married and went off with her husband on their honeymoon. When she got back her mother shrieked and ran to the telephone. She called on oculist. "Doctor, come over here right away! It's an emergency. My daughter has always refused to wear glasses and now she's back from her honeymoon and -" The doctor interrupted her, "Madam, please calm yourself! Ask your daughter to come to see me. No matter how bad her eyes are, it can't be that much of an emergency." "Oh no?" screamed the mother. "Well this fellow she's got with her isn't the one she went on honeymoon with."
When the tribal chief was suffering from constipation, one of his men goes to a doctor. Knowing little English he says, 'Big Chief!...... No shit!!' The doctor prescribes the medicines for 3 days, which the man gives to his chief. The chief hoping for a faster cure takes all the medicines in one gulp. After some time the man runs back to the doctor and says 'Big shit!......No Chief!!'