Jokes on the relationship of husband and wife are more hilarious. Here are some of such jokes that can get you turned on in case you are getting bored.


An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.


As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.


"Yes Dad, what is it?"


"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me... your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."
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A real woman is man's best friend.

She will never stand him up and never let him down.

She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.

She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret.

She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires.

She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...
NO wait.... Sorry.

I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that shit. Never mind...
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This old man and old woman (husband and wife) die and go to heaven. There, St. Peter gives them the grand tour of their new home. It's a HUGE mansion with a limo driver, gardener, etc.

The old man exclaims, "That's ours?"

St. Peter says "Yes, it is yours, forever and ever."

The old man is a little suspicious and says, "How much is the rent?"

St. Peter says, "It is free. After all, this is heaven."

Across the street is an expansive
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A man frantically calls the hotel desk from his room on the 11th floor.

"Please come quick I'm having an arguement with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the hotel window."

The hotel manager replies, "Sir I'm afraid that's a domestic matter and the hotel and it's staff are obligated to not interfere."

The husband responds, "Like hell it's a domestic matter! This damn window won't open, and that sir is a hotel maintenance problem."
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An angry housewife met her husband at the front door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol and perfume.

"I assume," she said with her most acidic sarcasm, "That there must be a very good reason for your coming home at six o'clock in the morning with booze on your breath and another woman's perfume all over you."

"There is," he said. "I'd like breakfast."
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A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He goes home to tell his wife and after they both had a long cry over it, he asked her if she would have sex with him because he only had 24 hours to live.

"Of course Darling." she replied. And so they have sex.

Four hours later they are lying in bed and he turns to her again, and says, "you know I only have 20 hours to live, do you think we could do it again?"

Again
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