Jokes on the relationship of husband and wife are more hilarious. Here are some of such jokes that can get you turned on in case you are getting bored.


A friend asked a gentleman why he never married?

Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."

"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."

"Yes, there was a girl... once. I guess she was the one perfect girl; the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything... I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."

"Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend.

"Unfortunately, she was looking for the perfect man."
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On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple goes to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe.

The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."

The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished.

"Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture."

Puzzled she asks, "MY picture?"

He
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A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant.

The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad."

The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up.

"You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked.

"Exactly," replied the instructor.

To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
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Sometime after a man died, his widow, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
"He thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, he called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes. 'Honey,' he told me, 'I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then, I can rest in peace.'"
"What was in the envelopes?" her friends
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Newlyweds, Tim and Nancy, spent their wedding night at a hotel.

The following morning, Nancy's closest friend, Jennifer, came over and asked them how their wedding night went.

"I'm so exhausted," Nancy said. "All night long it was up and down, in and out, up and down, in and out."

Misunderstanding her, an embarrased Jennifer was shocked that Nancy would speak so crassly.

Tim clarified by adding, "Don't ever get a room next to an elevator!"
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George went over to his fiancee's house and sadly told his girlfriend the wedding was off. He was going to marry another woman.

His girlfriend was distraught. She asked, "How can you choose another woman over me? Is she a better cook?"

"Not on her best days, she can't match your everyday cooking."

"Does she buy you gifts like I do, the electronic toys that please men so much.?"

"She can't buy me anything. She has no job and no money."

"Then she must be beautiful and hotter! Is she that much better than me?"

"No, you are fantastic."

"Then what can this woman possibly do better than me that you want to marry her?"

"She can sue me for child support."
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