"Yes you may."
Johnny left and headed for the woods. He found a big tree and crouched down to take a dump. Meanwhile, the priest went looking for him in the woods.
Johnny heard the priest coming, wiped his butt with a leaf and pulled his pants up. Johnny then took his hat off and put it on top of the poop.
The priest saw him and said, "What do you got underneath there ?"
Johnny hesitated and said, " The fastest bird in the world."
The priest said, "Oh yeah, let's see."
"Ok" Johnny said, "On the count of 3, when I take the hat off, I want you to grab the bird."
"1 - 2 - 3." Johnny pulled the hat away and the priest grabbed the poop.
"WOW, that bird is so fast it left the poop behind" said Johnny.
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