An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery.
Pausing before one gravestone, he said, "There lies a very honest man. He died owing me 50 pounds, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts and if anyone has gone to Heaven, he has."
They walked on a bit farther and then came to another grave.
The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, "Now, there's a different type of man altogether. He owed me 60 pounds and he died without ever trying to pay me back. If anyone has gone to Hell, he has."
The little boy thought for awhile and then said, "You know, Granddad, you are very lucky."
"Why"? asked the old man in surprise.
"Well, whichever place you go to, you'll have some money waiting when you get there!"
Banta was driving back from Shimla when there was a terrible hailstorm. Huge hailstones the size of tennis balls pelted his car leaving it full of dents.
He drove to the nearby automotive center and asked what he should do. The mechanic explained what needed to be done and that it would cost at least Rs 5,000 to repair. Banta said that was too much and asked if there was some other way to fix it.
He decided to have a little fun and said, "Well you could blow
A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and whispers, "I just love a good mystery and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."