A man had to attend a large convention in Chicago. On this particular trip he decided to bring his wife. When they arrived at their hotel and were shown to their room, the man said, "You rest here while I register. I'll be back within an hour."
The wife lies down on the bed. Just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed.
Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more
A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well. He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming.
He panicked and started to pray, "God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll stop drinking!"
Nothing happened, it was still stuck, and the train was getting closer!
He prayed again, "God, please get my foot out and I'll stop drinking
Santa was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife, Jeeto had been to him, and how fortunate he was to have her. He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind hearted?" The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son." "Why did you make her so good looking?" "So you could love her, my son." "Why did you make her such a good cook?" "So you could love her, my son." Santa thought about this. Then he said, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but why did you make her so stupid?" "So she could love you, my son."
The out-of-state couple are camping on the shores of a lake near a tiny hamlet. The young wife, stunningly built, decides to give the local town folk a thrill by sun bathing in the nude. "That's okay with me, honey," says her husband. "I'll go get some wood for the fire." About thirty minutes later, the husband returns to the campsite and finds his wife in tears. One of her breasts has been painted green, the other red and her bottom is blue. "What on earth happened