Murphy and his friend George go golfing together one Saturday morning, as they have done for 20 years straight. Later that day, Murphy returns home exhausted, and plops down in the easy chair. His wife is concerned and asks if something went wrong with his game. "No, no," he replied, "I had the best game I had in years! As a matter of fact, I started out the first three holes at 4 under par, including a hole-in-two on the 3rd." "So why are you so beat?" his wife asked. "Well, George had a heart attack and died on the 4th hole," he said. "What??? And you're so exhausted from trying to save him, huh?" "No, It was very quick and there was nothing anyone could've done. But after that, it was just hit the ball, drag George, hit the ball, drag George..."
Once Banta returned home late from a booze party. He was little over. He put his one hand on wall and tried to put key in the hole, with his other hand to open the lock. But the key missed the hole. He tried it so many times but every time the key missed the hole. Santa was observing this for a while, so he came forward to help. Santa- Can I help you put the key in the hole? Banta- No I shall manage the key, You just hold the wall because it is shaking too much.
A drunk stumbles out of a bar and he makes his way into the cemetery behind the tavern. He walks right to the edge of a freshly dug grave, loses his balance and falls in.
There's a puddle of water in the hole, and he spends the rest of the night yelling, "Help me, I'm cold! Someone help me, I'm cold!"
At closing time, another drunk walks behind the bar and hears the noise.
He gets to the open grave, looks down and says, "Of course you're cold, you idiot, you kicked all the dirt off yourself!"