Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining about severe abdominal pains.
We rushed to the emergency room, where tests were performed to determine the source of the pain.
My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong. When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone.
I turned to my husband and asked, "Would you like me to call the funeral home now?"
With a scornful look, the nurse turned to me and snapped, "Honey, he's not that sick!"
A gentleman was much surprised when the good-looking young lady greeted him by saying, "Good evening."
He could not remember ever having seen her before.
She evidently realized that she had made a mistake, for she apologized and explained: "Oh, I 'm so sorry. When I first saw you I thought you were the father of two of my children."
She walked on while the man stared after her. She did not realize, of course, that he was unaware of the fact that she was a school teacher.
Santa and Banta left the bar after a long night of drinking, jumped in the car and started it up. After a couple of minutes, an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly. Banta screamed, "Look at the window. There's an old ghost's face here!" Santa sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window. Banta rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?" The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"
Family is driving in their car on holidays. Frog crosses the road and husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is greatful, thanks the man and tells him that he will grant him a wish. Man says, "Please make my dog win the nexr dog race." Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog has only got three legs and tells the man that he thinks