Santa was in the dentist's chair having a root canal done. Every so often the dentist would stick a large toothpick-like object into the tooth's canal to see how far he had drilled. Each time, this thing caused Santa great pain, but whenever he complained the dentist replied, "Oh, that doesn't hurt, it's just a measuring device." This happened a couple more times. Again Santa complained and again he got the same response. Finally Santa sat up in the chair, took all the stuff out of his mouth and looked straight at the dentist. "Excuse me for a moment," Santa said. "I have to go out to my truck, get my tape measure and whack you in the head with it. It shouldn't hurt, though. It's just a measuring device."
Santa buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. Santa says, "I want my 10 million." The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 9 years." Santa said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 9 years. Santa, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 10 million right now, then I want my Rs 100 back!"
An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn't heal, and wants a diagnosis and explanation.
The doctor checks out his leg, but can't find anything wrong, so he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can't come up with any possible explanation for the pain.
The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, "I'm sorry, but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age; there's nothing I can do about it."
A newly appointed health minister of a northern state whose knowledge of English was somewhat elementary was on his first official visit to the largest hospital in the capital.
The Director of Medical Services took the minister round the operating theaters and general wards till they came to the women patients' section.
'This, sir, is the labour ward,' explained the director.
The minister stopped in his tracks and said firmly, 'I will not visit this ward. Don't you know we have a labour minister in the government? I must not trespass into his domain.'