A travelling salesman's car breaks down on a deserted road, and he seeks refuge from the evening storm at a nearby farmhouse.
The farmer, being a kindly soul, says to the man that he can spend the night and they'll sort his car out in the morning.
"There's only one small problem," says the farmer, "We don't have much room, so y'all will have to either sleep on the couch, or share the spare bedroom with Baby."
An Afghan, upon landing at Islamabad Airport, introduced himself to a Pakistan Immigration Officer, as an Ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.
The Pakistani Officer was surprised, and asked, "But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the ex-Minister of Ports & Shipping?
The Afghan replied, You crazy bugger, don't you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan ?
The homeowner was delighted with the way Santa had done all the paintwork on his house.
"You did a great job," he said as he handed Santa his fees. "Also, in order to thank-you, here's an extra 500 bucks to take the wife out to dinner and a movie."
Santa declined, saying, "No, I can't accept that."
"I insist," said the man. "It would make me very happy if you do it."
"Well," said Santa reluctantly, but with appreciation, "If you really don't mind it, I'll do it."
Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was Santa, standing there in clean clothes, holding a bouquet of flowers.
Thinking that Santa had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you leave something behind?"
"Nope," replied Santa. "I'm just here to take the wife out to dinner and a movie like you asked."
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother. "Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take
Back in the days of the old Wild Wild West lived a guy named Ted who used to have a lot of fun.
He rode into town like he usually did every Saturday night, and he went into the saloon and got drunk. All of his friends saw him drinking and decided to play a trick on him. So, they went outside and turned the saddle on his horse around. That way they figured when he got outside drunk and they put him on there, he would get on home the best way he could!