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On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.

Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"

James Bond: "My name is Bond' Continuing in his inimitable style.....James Bond."

Then Bond asks: "And you?

Telugu Guy: "My name is Rao...
"Siva Rao...
"Samba Siva Rao...
"Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
"Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
"Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
"Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
"Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...

Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says 'James Bond'
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The doctor told Santa that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days, Santa called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
What is the problem?" asked the doctor.
I am 2400 kms from home."
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There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming around the corner and heads straight for him. The man walks faster, trying to hurry across the street, but the car changes lanes and is still coming at him.
So the guy turns around to go back, but the car changes lanes again and is still coming at him.
By now, the car is so close and the man so scared that he just freezes and stops in the middle of the road.
The car gets real close, then swerves at the last possible moment and screeches to a halt right next him.
The driver rolls down the window.
The driver is a squirrel.
The squirrel says to the man, "See, it's not as easy as it looks, is it?"
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Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.

"What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held."

"Well, " the young man replied, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination."
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A custody battle in Santa Ana, CA, took an unusual turn when the mother of a 3-year-old girl claimed the girl's father is actually a woman. Kristie Vecchione, 27, said her husband became a man through sex-change operations more than 20 years ago. Vecchione, who was impregnated by artificial insemination, wants sole custody of her daughter on claims that same-sex marraiges are not recognized in the state of California.
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A couple watching an IPL match on the TV together. After five minutes:

Wife: Is that Bret Lee?
Husband: No. He is Chris Gayle. Bret Lee is the bowler.

Wife: Bret Lee is smart. He should be in the movies like his brother.
Husband: He does not have an actor brother.

Wife: What about Bruce Lee?
Husband: No no, Bret Lee is an Australian.

Wife: OK. Look. Another wicket in just two minutes.
Husband: No. It is called action
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