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In Court the Judge says to a double-homicide defendant.

"You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."

A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"

The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your Mother-in-law to death with a hammer."

The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten bastard!"

The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom, "Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes but no more outbursts from you or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?"

The guy in the back of the court stands up and says, "I'm Sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I've lived next door to that bastard and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one."
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A man walking down the street came upon Santa and Banta who are trying to measure an up-right pole with a yard stick.

Along comes this really big, musclebound shmuck and says, "Hey, what are you guys doing?"

Santa and Banta say, "We're trying to measure the height of this pole."

The man wraps his arms around the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. Then he picks it up, puts it back in the ground and says, "22 feets," and walks away.

Santa was now quite mad and yelled back, "You idiot we were not trying to see how long it was...I need to know how high it is!
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A blonde was standing in front of a coke machine, she put in 50 cents and a coke came out. She set it on top of the coke machine. Put in 50 more cents pushed the button and another coke came out.
She kept doing this until a guy standing behind her said, "Excuse me, can I get my coke and then you can go back to what ever you are doing?"
The blonde turns around and says, "Like duh not when I am winning!!"
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An old man and his son had a one-horse farm where they barely made a living. Then, one day, the son hit the lottery and won ten million.
The young man rushed into town, collected his money, then hurried back home. He ran across the field, told his father the news, and handed the older man Rs one thousand.
The father looked at the money for a moment and then said, "Son, you know I've always been careful with what little money we had. I didn't spend it on liquor or women. In fact, I couldn't even afford the license to legally marry your Mom."
"Pa!" the young man stammered, "do you know what that makes me?"
"Yep," said the old man fingering the thousand rupees, "... and a cheap one, too."
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Teacher: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon ?
Pupil: The moon.
Teacher: Why ?
Pupil: The moon gives us light when we need it, but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don t need it.
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It was a fine summer evening at the local pub in Dublin. The bar was about half full. In one corner two fellows sat drinking pints. One fellow asks the other "Now where are ya from, me lad?"
The second fellow replies "County Cork."
The first fellow is amazed "Why that's were I hail from too! What may be your family name, then?"
The second chap says "It be none other than O'Brien"
"Why that is my clan, too. What a small world. And to what school did you go?
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Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

Sports Article Count: 80

Techies Article Count: 66

Celebrities Article Count: 42

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