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A lion woke up one morning with the urge to inflict his superiority on his fellow beasts. So he strode over to a monkey and roared: "Who is the mightiest animal in the jungle?"

"You are, Master," said the monkey, quivering.

Then the lion came across a warthog.

"Who is the mightiest animal in the jungle?" roared the lion.

"You are, Master," said the warthog, shaking with fear.

Next the lion met an elephant.

"Who is the mightiest animal in the jungle?" roared the lion.

The elephant grabbed the lion with his trunk, slammed him against a tree half a dozen times, dropped him like a stone and ambled off.

"All right," shouted the lion. "There's no need to turn nasty just because you don't know the answer."
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The 5 Stages of Drunkenness

Stage 1 - SMART: This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING: This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING
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ARIES: Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW!

TAURUS: Well, I prefer natural light if at all possible. Are you absolutely positive that lightbulb is burned out? I hate to throw it away if it still might be useful.

GEMINI: Yo God...(or is it Goddess?)...Who are you?...What are you?.....Where are You?.....How many of you ARE there? I can't figure you out!

CANCER: Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn't depend on you so much, but you're the only One
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Hard Disk Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.

RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.

Windows Girls:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.

Screensaver Girls:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!

Internet Girls:
Difficult to access.

Server Girls:
Always busy when you need her.

Multimedia Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.

CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.

Email Girls:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.

Virus Girls:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.
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Three high steel building workers break for lunch and sit down high above the city.
First worker opens his lunch box and complains, "Not lentils and rice again today, Every day, lentils & rice, lentils & rice. If I have lentils & rice again tomorrow I will throw myself from this building."
Second worker opens his lunch box and exclaims, "Not butter chicken & rice again. Every day chicken & rice. If I have that again tomorrow I'll throw myself off too."
The last
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The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her.

She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but I'm not that kind!"

"Actually, I've never tried to kiss a model before," he protested.

"Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?"

"Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples and a vase."
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Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

Sports Article Count: 80

Techies Article Count: 66

Celebrities Article Count: 42

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