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Bubba liked to frequent the old swimming hole but was never able to attract the girls. He decided to ask his friend Billy for advice.

"It's those big baggy swimming trunks that make you look like an old fool... They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos, about two sizes too little, and drop a fist-sized potato down inside them. I'm telling ya man...you'll have all the babes you want!"

The following weekend, Bubba hits the swimming hole with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody at the swimming hole was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!

Bubba went back to his buddy Billy and asked him, "What's wrong now?'"

"Lard-Almighty Bubba!" said Billy, "the potatoe goes in the front!"
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When a Woman Loves!

When a woman loves you, you are a husband

When a few women love you, you are a man

When many women love you, you are a lover

When hundreds of women love you, you are an idol

When thousands of women love you, you are a leader

But,

When all the women in the world love you, you are not human... You are a diamond, gold, a rupee, a dollar, a euro, or a yen..
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Two priests and a rabbi were discussing what they do with the money they receive in the collection plate.
One priest says, "Well, I draw a line on the floor, throw all the money in the air and whatever lands north of the line, I give to God, the rest I keep."
The other priest says, "I do pretty much the same thing... I draw a circle, throw all the money in the air and whatever lands inside the circle, I give to God, and whatever lands outside, I keep."
The rabbi says, "Well, I do the same sort of thing too. I throw all the money up in the air and whatever God grabs, he gets!"
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Santa was not the brightest guy around. Every day, when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money.
Finally, Santa decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route, but also take some self-defense classes so this wouldn't happen again.
So Santa joined a karate class and soon was doing very well with it.
One day, on the way home from work, Santa confidently decided to take
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Santa left work early one Friday, but instead of going home, he spent the weekend partying with the boys. When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife, Jeeto, really got on his case and stayed on it.

After a few of hours of swearing and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days?"

The husband couldn't believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled and said, "That would suit me just fine!!"

Monday went by, and the man didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn't see her.

Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
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It was very crowded and noisy in this Restaurant and this blonde girl asks the waiter where the restroom was.

And he says, "I can't hear you!"

So she gets close to his ear and asks again, "Can you please tell me where the ladies room is?"

And he replies, "On the other side!"

So she turns around and gets close to his other ear, and asks, "Can you please tell me where the ladies room is, please!"
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Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

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