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A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is.
"Well," said the drunk, "it looks like plastic and feels like rubber."
"Let me have it," said the lawyer.
Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and forefinger, examining it closely.
"Yes," he finally said, "it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don't know what it is. Where did you get it?"
"From my nose," the drunk replied.
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Travis Bogumill, a construction worker in Eau Claire, Wis., was shot with a nail gun that drove a 3 1/4 inch nail all the way into his skull, and the only difference he can see is that he's not quite the math whiz he used to be.
A co-worker accidentally bumped his head with the gun, and the nail went in so deep that the only thing visible was a small hole in Bogumill's scalp.
He remained conscious, turned to his co-worker and said, "You just nailed me in the head,
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An eminent doctor goes for a meal in a gourmet restaurant.

As he is inspecting the menu, the head waiter appears and tries to be particularly helpful.

"You might be interested to know that I have pickled liver, braised kidneys and stewed tongue."

"Sounds terrible," says the doctor. "Call my assistant and make an appointment for tomorrow. Right now, I'll have the fish."
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At the conclusion of the sermon, the worshipers filed out of the sanctuary to greet the minister.
As one of them left, he shook the minister's hand, thanked him for the sermon and said, "Thanks for the message, Reverend. You know, you must be smarter than Einstein."
Beaming with pride, the minister said, "Why, thank you, brother!"
As the week went by, the minister began to think about the man's compliment. The more he thought, the more he became baffled as to why
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If you kiss her,
you are not a gentleman

If you don't,
you are not a man


If you praise her,

she thinks you are lying


If you don't,

you are good for nothing


If you agree to all her likes,

you are a wimp


If you don't,

you are not understanding


If you visit her often,

she thinks you are boring


If you don
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Santa was in the dentist's chair having a root canal done. Every so often the dentist would stick a large toothpick-like object into the tooth's canal to see how far he had drilled. Each time, this thing caused Santa great pain, but whenever he complained the dentist replied, "Oh, that doesn't hurt, it's just a measuring device."
This happened a couple more times. Again Santa complained and again he got the same response. Finally Santa sat up in the chair, took all the stuff out of his mouth and looked straight at the dentist.
"Excuse me for a moment," Santa said. "I have to go out to my truck, get my tape measure and whack you in the head with it. It shouldn't hurt, though. It's just a measuring device."
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Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

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