A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?" "Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer. On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account. That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."
The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.
However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"
A politician awakened after a serious operation only to find himself in a room with all the blinds drawn.
"Why are all the blinds closed?" he asked the doctor.
"Well," the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation was a failure.
Doctor tells a rich old man that he's going to die if he doesn't get a new heart soon. The old man tells the doctor to search the world for the best heart available, money is no problem. A few days later the doctor calls the old man and says he has found three hearts but they are all expensive. The old man reminds the doctor that he is filthy rich and implores him to tell him about the donors they came from. Well" the first one belonged to 22 year old marathon runner
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said,"I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered." The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order. "The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded. The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless spineless, gutless, and their heads and their ass are interchangeable."
A minister, a lawyer, and a boy scout are the only passengers on a small plane that develops engine problems.
The pilot emerges from the cockpit and announces, Real problems; going down can't possibly land. We must bail out! But we only have 3 parachutes!" He reaches into the back of the plane and grabs one of the 3 chutes, announcing, "I m a married man with 3 kids to support, so I must save myself." Out he bails. The lawyer then yells, "I have the