After two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the jury finally ended its hours of deliberations and entered the courtroom to deliver its verdict to the judge. The judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?" "Yes we have, your honor," the foreman responded. "Would you please pass it to me," The judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and
The Walton's invited their new neighbors over to dinner. During dinner Mr. Walton was asked what he did for a living. Eight years old Brian Walton jumped in and said, "Daddy is a fisherman!" To which Mrs. Walton replied, "Brian, why do say that. Your daddy is a stockbroker, not a fisherman." "No mom. Every time we visit dad at work and he hangs up the phone he laughs, rubs his hands together and says I just caught another fish
A man in an automobile, who was stopped by a policeman for speeding, became very angry and called the traffic cop an ass. After he had paid his fine, the judge reproved him, for what he had said to the officer. "Then I mustn't call a policeman an ass?" he said. "Certainly not," said the judge. "You must not insult the police." "But you wouldn't mind if I called an ass a policeman, would you?" "Why, no, if it gives you satisfaction," answered his honor with a slight smile. The motorist turned to the man who had arrested him, and said: "Good-day, policeman."
A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police. "For example." he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom." When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?" "What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?" "I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was,"