A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she found a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself. Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards, out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg. The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. The doctor walked into her room. Laughing hysterically, he said, "You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain!" As he began to compose himself, he asked, "So, how did you break YOUR leg??"
It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and I was beginning my preshot routine on #1, visualizing my upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse oudspeaker.
Would the gentleman on . the ladies tee back up to the Men's tee please!!
I was still deep in my routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement Would the MAN on the WOMEN'S tee kindly back up to the men's tee.
I finally stopped, turned, looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the mike and shouted back, Would the person in the clubhouse kindly shut up and et me pay my second shot?
Seems George was playing his usual eighteen holes on Saturday afternoon. Teeing off from the 17th, he sliced into the rough over near the edge of the fairway. Just as he was about to chip out, he noticed a long funeral procession going past on a nearby street.
Reverently, George removed his hat and stood at attention until the procession had passed. Then he continued his game, finishing with a birdie on the eighteenth.
Later, at the clubhouse, a fellow golfer greet George, "Say, that was a nice gesture you made today, George."
"What do you mean?" asked George.
"Well, it was nice of you to take off your cap and stand respectfully when that funeral went by," the friend replied.
"Oh, yes," said George. "Well, we were married 17 years, you know."
Gayle: Sir, I scored 211 Runs in 118 Balls. I made the team win the crucial match. I should get "A" rating.
Manager: You hit 17 Sixes and 23 Fours. Though, that is good but that is not something new you have done. That is why we hired you. As this is not something new, I will mark it as "Innovation Lacking.'
Gayle: But sir, I played according to the situation. I took 21 singles as well.
Manager: Exactly, your performance is not consistent. You
On summer vacation, Jaime and her son, Andy, went to visit Jaime's Uncle George who owned a nice farm. While there, Uncle George was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his four-year-old Great Nephew, Andy, standing at the fence, wide-eyed and soaking in the whole event.
Uncle George thought to himself: "Great, now I'm gonna have to explain the 'birds and bees' to him. Well, no need to jump the gun. I'll just wait and see if he has any questions, and I'll just answer them as best I can."
After he finished helping the cow with her birthing, he walked over to Andy and asked him, "Do you have any questions about what you seen here tonight?"
"Just one," the little boy whispered, eyes still wide with wonder. "How fast was that calf going when he hit the cow?"