All jokes on the interplay of doctors and patients.


A young woman arrived to her doctor with black and blue signs of beating.

Doctor, "What happened?"

Woman, "Doctor, I do not know what to do, whenever my husband comes home drunk he beats the hell out of me, almost killing me."

Doctor, "I have a really good medication for it. When your husband comes home drunk you just take a glass of Green tea and start to gargle and gargle, as much as you can do ...... and that's all you have to do"

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Harris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Harris replied: "Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."

The doctor said: "I didn't say that. I said, You've got a heart murmur - be careful."
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Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.

Patient: Might as well give me the bad news first.

Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.

Patient: 24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE?

Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
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This older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the
operation.
As he was about to receive the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me... your mother is going
to come and live with you and your wife...."
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Sam and John were out cutting wood, and John cut his arm off. Sam wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and took it and John to a surgeon.
The surgeon said: "You are in luck! I am an expert at reattaching limbs! Come back in four hours."
So Sam came back in four hours and the surgeon said: "I got done faster than I expected to. John is down at the local pub."
Sam went to the pub and saw John throwing darts.
A few weeks later, Sam and John were out again, and John
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The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, "Hello, Mrs. Ward, please."

"Speaking."

"Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband's. Frankly, the results are either bad or terrible."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Ward asks nervously.

"Well, one of
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