All jokes on the interplay of doctors and patients.


Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They Augustht us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great."
"That is great! And what was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but could not remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife, "Rose, what was the name of that memory clinic?"
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The doctor finished his examination and asked the patient to step into his office.

"Sit down, Mr. Kay sen. After looking at these test results, I recommend that you have an operation immediately."
The man thought for a moment, "How will this affect my hobby, Doctor?"
"What's your hobby?"
"Saving money!"
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A Guy goes into a proctologist's office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat. In the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. When the man sat down and began observing the tools he noticed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table.

A tube of K-Y jelly;
A rubber glove; and
A beer.

When the doctor finally came in the man said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"

At that the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, "Dammit, Helen! I said a BUTT LIGHT."
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A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam.

The nurse told him to have a seat in the examination room and that the doctor would be with him in just a few minutes.

When the man sat down and began observing the tools, he noticed there were 3 items on a stand next to the doctor's desk.

1. A tube of K-Y jelly
2. A rubber glove
3. A beer
When the doctor finally came in, the man said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I know what the glove is for, but can you tell me what the BEER is for?"

The doctor curses in exasperation, flung open the door, and yelled, "Nurse! I said to bring me a butt light!"
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A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it, and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.

"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.

"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"

"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!"
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