Jokes on the relationship of husband and wife are more hilarious. Here are some of such jokes that can get you turned on in case you are getting bored.


A husband takes the wife to a night club. There's aguy on the dance floor giving it big time. Break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works!

The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down!"

The husband says, "Looks to me like he's still celebrating!!!"
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Enough about Wives, now something for Husbands...

A new metal is added to chemistry:

Name: Husband
Symbol: Hb
Atomic Weight:
-Light when first found...
-tends to get heavier over the years with time.

Physical Properties:
Boils at any time with inlaws.
Can freeze in front of his own family.
Melts if sees other women.
Very Bitter if questioned.

Chemical Properties:
Very Reactive
Highly Unstable
Possess Strong resistance to Gold, Silver, Diamond, Platinum, Credit cards & Cheque books.
Money saving Agent.

Occurrence:
Mostly found in front of the TV.
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A family was having dinner on Mother's Day.

For some reasonthe mother was unusually quiet.

Finally the husband asked what was wrong.

"Nothing," said the woman.

Not buying it, he asked again.

"Seriously, what's wrong?"

"Do you really want to know? Well, I'll tell you. I have cooked and cleaned and fed the kids for 15 years and on Mother's Day, you don't even tell me so much as "Thank you.""

Why should I?" he said. "Not once in 15 years have I gotten a Father's Day gift."

Yes," she said, "but I'm their real mother."
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Husband: "Honey I've been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We're leaving from office & I'll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pajamas!"

The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but looking good.

The wife welcomed him and asked if he caught many fish?

He said, "Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill and a few Swordfish. But why didn't u pack my blue silk pajamas?"

"I did... They're in your fishing box !!!
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A man decided to change his life and for a start he took up the easiest - drinking. He got so drunk with whisky and his breath had such a foul stench as if a whole herd of mammoths had spent the night in his mouth.

It felt good to be blind drunk, but the time came for him to go home and his wife was quite quick-tempered. She always knew when he was drunk even if he was three blocks away from their house and did not let him in. This is why the drunken man decided to
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A mild mannered man is tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he decides to go to a Psychiatrist.
The Psychiatrist gives him a booklet on assertive training. He reads it on the way home. When he walks through the door, his wife comes to greet him.
He tells her, "From now on, I'm the man of this home and my word is law. When I come home from work I want dinner on the table. Now, get upstairs and lay out some clothes on the bed because I'm going out with the guys tonight. Then draw my bath. When I get out of the tub, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
"The undertaker!!!" she replies.
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