Jokes on the relationship of husband and wife are more hilarious. Here are some of such jokes that can get you turned on in case you are getting bored.


Love is holding hands in the street,
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favourite restaurant,
Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is watching movie on a sofa,
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children,
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early,
Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is losing your appetite,
Marriage is losing your figure.

TV has no place in love,
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws,
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough !"

Conclusion: Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener.
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When Joe, a nice man married for over 50 years died, his wife, Myrtle was devastated. A couple of months later, Myrtle also died.

Once in heaven, Myrtle anxiously looked for Joe. Suddenly, behind a Cloud, she could clearly see him with another woman.

She ran towards him, calling his name, "Joe. Darling, Joe"

Joe said, "Hold your horses woman, and don't give me that 'darling' shit. The deal was very clear: 'Until death do us part'."
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The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband.

"I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me."

"My mother!" he exclaimed."But she is a hundred miles away."

"I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it."

He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?"

"In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George.'"
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An old married couple is in bed one night about to fall asleep when suddenly the husband farts.
His wife is disgusted and screams at him, "Don't fart!!!"
Husband says, "Shut your mouth." A few minutes later he farts again.
She screams "Please stop farting!!!"
Again he says, "Just shut your mouth."
She is really pissed off and finally she asks him, "How come when I ask you to stop farting, you never listen, you just tell me to shut my mouth???"
"Well" says the husband, "I didn't want to have to tell you, but your breath is what really stinks."
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Dear Husband:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.
You came home and ate
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An old Italian Mafia Don is dying, so he calls his grandson to his bed.

"Grandson, I wanna you lissin to me. I wanna for you to take my chrome plated 38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns, ... how about leaving me your Rolex watch instead."

"You liste to me. Some day you gonna be runna da bussiness, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big home and maybe a couple of bambini. Am I right?"

"Yes grandpa, I guess so."

"Ok, so soma day you gonna coma home and maybe finda you wife in bed with another man. Whada you gonna do then? Pointa to da watch and say, TIMES UP!"
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