Jokes on the relationship of husband and wife are more hilarious. Here are some of such jokes that can get you turned on in case you are getting bored.


Husband in a good mood:

Darling, remember 25 years ago.... I had a rented one room apartment, a table fan, a black & white tv and a cycle to use. But, at night I used to sleep besides a 25 yrs old beautiful girl.

Now I own a luxurious bungalow with, 4 LED TVs, a Limousine and a Porsche, servants... but I sleep with a 50 yrs old woman.

Wife: Dont worry... Just find yourself a 25 yrs old beautiful woman... and I will make sure that you go back to your 1 room rented apartment, table fan, black & white TV and a cycle.
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Sadie and Rose were sitting under hair dryers at the hairdresser having a chat.

Sadie says, "Rose, how's that daughter of yours?"

Rose replies, "She's OK thanks. She married a fantastic man. He's got such a good job in the City that she gave up her secretary's job. She stays at home but never needs to cook, because he always takes her out, or clean the house, because he got her a maid, or worry about my 2 lovely grandchildren, because he got her a live-in
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An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says,"Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

The old man replied, "Its fart football!"

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says - "Touchdown, tie score!"

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, Im ahead 14 to 7!"

Not to be out done the wife rips another
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A lady walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.

The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.

The pharmacists eyes got big and he said, "Lord, have mercy - I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You can NOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.
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A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring.

As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned.

"Tell me," she asked the elderly salesman, "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?"

With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day."
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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said. "Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. Use the salt!"

The wife stared at him, "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
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