Jokes on the relationship of husband and wife are more hilarious. Here are some of such jokes that can get you turned on in case you are getting bored.


There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!"

Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful' it was 'cute.'

She said, "What happened to 'beautiful'?"

His reply was, "The drugs are wearing off!"
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A married man was visiting his mistress when she requested that he shave his beard.

"Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."

James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she'd kill me!"

"Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice.

"Oh, really, I can't," he replies. "My wife loves this beard!"

The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night, James crawls into bed with his wife while she's sleeping.

The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies, "Oh, Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon."
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A man walked into a bank, got in line and when it was his turn he pulled out a gun and robs the bank.

But just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line, "Did you see me Rob this Bank?"

The customer replies, "Well, yes!"

The bank robber raises his gun, points it at his head and shoots him.

He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, "DID ... YOU ... SEE ... ME ... ROB... THIS... BANK?"

The man calmly responds, "No, but my wife did."
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There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.

His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again.

His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!"

Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute."

She said "What happened to 'beautiful'?"

His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"
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A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house.

He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there.

A farmer replied, "Banta's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died."

"Well," replied the man, "she must have had a lot of friends."

"Nope," said the farmer, "we all just want to buy his mule."
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The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" She gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck."
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