Jokes on the relationship of husband and wife are more hilarious. Here are some of such jokes that can get you turned on in case you are getting bored.


A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted, "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked..."And where were you when I got married?"
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During a Coffee Break, two men were talking, "My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market garden." said the first man.

"So were you able to find some?" the second man, asked.

"Well when I got to the market, I asked the gardener, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?'"

The gardener said, "No, you'll have to do that yourself."
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On their way home, after celebrating their 25th anniversary, the wife thanks her husband for a wonderful evening.

"Oh, it's not over yet." He said.

Once home, he gives her a little black velvet box. She opens it in anticipation and inside are two small tablets.

She asked, "But what are these two little pills?"

"Aspirin." The man replied.

"But, I don't have a headache." She said.

"There you go, I told you the evening wasn't over yet!" he snidely said.
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An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London.
The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.
The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit
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A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.

Doctor, "What happened?"

Woman, "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor, "I have a real good medicine against that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle"

Two weeks later she comes back to the doctor and looks reborn and fresh again.

Woman, "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk I gargled repeatedly with chamomile tea and he never touched me."

Doctor, "You see, how keeping your mouth shut helps!!!"
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Saturday morning I got up very early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, slipped quietly into the garage loaded the truck with rifle and stand, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

There was snow mixed with the rain, and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out hunting in that shit?"
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More Articles ...

  1. Romantic Wife
  2. Romantic Evening!!!
  3. Getting Married!
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