Santa calls the hospital. He says, "You gotta send help ! My wife's going into labor!" The nurse says, "Calm down. Is this her first child ?" He says, "No! This is her husband!"
Once our Santa ended up getting drunk at this place called the Golden Cafe. Well, he comes home and tells his wife, Jeeto, 'You wouldn't believe it there! The floor is gold, the ceiling's gold, the chandelier is gold, even the urinals are gold!' Jeeto can't believe this so she calls the place up and asked to speak with the manager. She said, 'Is it true that your floor is gold?' The guy says, 'Yes.' The wife continues down the list. 'Is it true that even your urinals are gold?' The manager turns around to another guy and says, 'Hey, I think we found the guy who messed up your saxophone last night.'
Banta owned a great big farm. He had lots of animals like pigs, chickens, horses and cows.
But then one day one of his horses became constipated so he went to the vet and the doctor gave him some big pills and a pipe. The doctor instructed him to put a pill in the pipe, stick the pipe up the horse's ass and blow as hard as he could.
Banta went home and did exactly what the vet told him to do.
An hour later Banta came back to the doctor's place looking very sick. The doctor asked what was wrong.
Once Santa is traveling by train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front. The Santa thinks there is someone in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same person there. An hour passes away, he has made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there. So he finally gets ticked off
Banta goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Sir," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife, Preeto, needs me to help with the top floor and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Banta," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, Sir," says Banta, "I knew I could count on you!"