Banta went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses ?" "Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!" "Oh ! How nice it would be ," said Banta with joy, "I have been illiterate for so long."
Santa is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer. Officer looks at Santa Then goes thru his certificates and then starts asking him questions.
Following is the transcript: Officer: Mr. Santa, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple questions. If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some opposites
A traffic Policeman stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislav Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan visiting my daughter in Columbia." As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
A rich businessman was telling our bachelor Banta about the plans for his unmarried daughters, "I have put aside Rs.2,00,000 for Savita who is 22, Rs.4,00,000 dowry for Vinita whos 27 and Rs.8,00,000 for Namita who is 36." Banta after thinking for few seconds said "Sir, do you have any daughter who is 50?"
A man walking down the street came upon Santa and Banta who are trying to measure an up-right pole with a yard stick.
Along comes this really big, musclebound shmuck and says, "Hey, what are you guys doing?"
Santa and Banta say, "We're trying to measure the height of this pole."
The man wraps his arms around the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. Then he picks it up, puts it back in the ground and says, "22 feets," and walks away.
Santa was now quite mad and yelled back, "You idiot we were not trying to see how long it was...I need to know how high it is!