A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?"
The matchmaker said, "What exactly are you looking for?"
"Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don't go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest."
The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a matter of moments, handed the result to the woman.
A man and his friend meet at the clubhouse and decide to play a round of golf. The man has a little dog with him, and on the first green, when he sinks a 20-foot putt, the little dog starts to yip, stands up on its hind legs and walks around in circles.
Amazed, the friend says, Wow, that dog is really talented! What does he do if you miss a putt?
This guy who stutters badly, walks into a Bar, and says, "Ssay! Bbbartender, gggimme a bbbeer". The Bartender, who is badly Humpbacked, serves him a beer and says, "That will be Rs 200 please!" The Guy thinks that's pretty high priced and says, "Ddddamn! Ttthat's hhhigh!" The Bartender says, "Yes, but that's our price, that's what we get!". The guy pays him and drinks it down. He then says, "Sssay! Bbbartender, gggimme a wwhiskey ppplease!" The Bartender
Jab duniya ek din fanah ho jani hai toh log is ke peche kyun bhaagte hain? Paisa duniya mein reh jayega toh log is ke peeche zindagi kyun lutaate hain? Cheezon ko hasil karne ke liye doston ko dushmn kyun samajhte hain?
Buzurg ne teeno sawalon ko bade gaur se suna. Phir unhone jaib se ek machis ki dabbi nikali, usmein se 3 teeliyan uthayi, phir 2 teeliyan wapis rakh diya, aur 1 teeli ko tor ke us k 2 hisse kar diye, aur agla hissa phenk diya pichley hisse ko thora sa nokdaar banaya or munh ke qareeb laa ke danton mein phasa hua khana nikalne lage aur bole: Mujhe kya pata...?