Ed Nott was shot and Sam Shott was not. So it is better to be Shott than Nott. Some say Nott was not shot. But Shott says he shot Nott. Either the shot Shott shot at Nott was not shot, or Nott was shot. If the shot Shott shot shot Nott, Nott was shot. But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott, the shot was Shott, not Nott. However, the shot Shott shot shot not Shott - but Nott. So, Ed Nott was shot and that's hot! Is it not?
Two avid hunters take a hunter's safety class in which they learn that the universal signal for an emergency is three shots in the air.
Sure enough, on their next hunting trip the two men get lost.
One says to the other, "What shall we do?"
The other says, I know fire three shots in the air and someone may come to find us.
He fires off three shots, and they wait two hours. No sign of help.
What shall we do? Fire off three more shots. So he does. Three hours later there is no response and it is getting dark. The one says "Shall we try again?"
The other says, "I guess not... I only have two arrows left...
So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Little Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen.
"Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water?" Gramma asked him.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma" exclaimed Johnny. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Gramma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
Banta and Preeto decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Mumbai. When they entered the hotel and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. Banta brushed her off." Preeto objected, "That young woman was nice, and you were so rude." "Preeto, she's a prostitute." "I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?" "Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it." In their room, Banta called down to
Preeto went to see a psychiatrist about her husband Santa (he wouldn't go with her).
"Doctor, my husband has this problem. Almost every night now he's dreaming he's a refrigerator!"
"My dear, that is not really a problem! A lot of people dream that they are somebody or something unusual..."
Preeto leans forward as she softly whispers this confidence, "But you see doctor it is also a problem for me! Santa sleeps with his mouth open and his little light keeps me awake!"