A politician awakened after a serious operation only to find himself in a room with all the blinds drawn.
"Why are all the blinds closed?" he asked the doctor.
"Well," the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation was a failure.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local Wal-Mart Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store. We cannot
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were
Once Santa and an American had a discussion over whose civilization was technologically more advanced in the ancient times. As the discussion was getting nowhere, they both decided to do some archaeological excavation to prove their respective claims. So the American started digging up in USA and after some time came up with a curly wire of a telephone. He wrote in his report - US civilization was so advanced even in the ancient times that people then were using telephones
A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk. 'What are they doing, Grandma?' asked the little girl. The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said, 'The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.' 'They're just like people, aren't they Grandma?' 'How do you mean?' asked the Grandma. 'Offer someone a helping hand,' said the little girl, 'and they screw you everytime!'