A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.
He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827.
Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.
An insect falls into a mug of beer.... Englishman: Throws his mug away and walks out. American: Takes the insect out and drinks the beer. Chinese: Eats the insect and throws the beer away. Indian: Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer. Pakistani: Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer. Relates the issue to Kashmir. Asks the Chinese for Military aid. Takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.
Banta walks into a bar for a bar and takes a seat. However, just as the bartender put the beer on the bar, there was a loud disturbance outside. Hey ran out to see what was going on but soon went back to drink his beer.
When he got back he found his glass empty and a note saying: "Thanks for the beer!"
Banta was a little ticked-off but ordered another beer anyway. Again, just as the bartender put the beer down a loud crash was heard in the street. Thinking
There were two friends. One Hindu, Pawan and the other Muslim, Javed. They were heavy boozers. Not a day passed without their meeting, which resulted in ending up at a bar. Everyone was fed up with their drinking habit. Even they were keen to stop drinking. But the urge to drink always got the better of them. Once they met in the morning. Being sober, they discuss their problem and came up with a solution. The Hindu says that it would be equal to eating the holy cow, and
An old man and his wife had just gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the old man cut a fart and says, "Seven Points." His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?" The old man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 7 to nothing." A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, Tie score." After about ten minutes later the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown I'm ahead 14-7." Now starting to get into this, the wife quickly farts again and says, "Touchdown tie score." The old man strains really hard but to no avail; he can't fart, so not to be outdone by his wife, he gives it everything he has and poops in the bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" The old man replies, "Half-Time, Switch-Sides"