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A 60 year old woman was walking along 5th Avenue when she heard a voice from above "You will live to be 100."
She looked around and didn t see anyone. Again she heard "You will live to be 100."
Boy, she thought to herself, that was the voice of God. I ve got 40 more years to live! So off she went to the plastic surgeon. She got everything fixed from head to toe. When she left the plastic surgeon s office, she got hit by a bus,died, and went up to heaven.

She said to God "You told me I would live to be 100. I was supposed to have had 40 more years. So how come you let the bus kill me?".

God said: "I didn t recognize you".
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Guys, here is very eye opening interview of a married man for the benefit of the unmarried ones, who may learn a few things...

Interview of a Married Man (for the benefit of the unmarried ones)

Reporter: So how is your married life?
The married man: First of all, "married life" is an oxymoron.

Reporter: But people say marriages are made in heaven?
The married man: Only if heaven is full of Chinese people.

Reporter: So yours
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Joe was a successful computer programmer and a happy family man. His life was blessed with a loving wife, 2 kids, three cats and a dog. Joe loved taking Rusty the dog for his evening walk and was proud when his son, little Johnny, began asking to go along on Rusty's evening walks.

Little Johnny was an observant and curious child and one evening asked his father: 'Daddy, why does Rusty always sniff that phone pole when we take him for his walk?'

Well, Joe wasn't sure how he should answer his son. How DOES one explain the way animals mark their territory to a 6-year-old?

Stalling for time Joe asked, "What do you think he's doing Johnny?"

Johnny frowned in concentration, then brightened and said, "I know! I Know! He's checking his P-Mail!"
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Ek baar ek ladka ghar mein sharaab pee kar aaya aur apne Dad se bachne ke liye ek badi si book lekar padhne laga!

Dad: Oye nalaayak, aaj phir sharab pee kar aaya hai kya...?

Son: Nahin Dad, bilkul nahin, kyun?

Dad: Kamine, toh phir pichle 10 minute se breifcase khol ke kya bak-bak kar raha hai...
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Banta went to a big city to see the sights, asked the hotel's clerk about the time of meals.
"Breakfast is served from 7 to 11, dinner from 12 to 3, and supper from 6 to 8," explained the clerk.
"Look here," inquired Banta in surprise, "When am I going to get time to see the city?"
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In a Nursery School Canteen, there was a basket of Apples with a notice written over it: Do not take more than one, God is watching.
On the other counter there was a box of chocolates. A small child went & wrote on it: Take as many as u want, God is busy watching the Apples.
Moral: NEVER ACT SMART WITH today's generation...!!!

KID: Why some of your hairs are white, Dad?
DAD: Every time you make me unhappy, one of my hairs turns white...
KID: Now I understand why Grandpa's all hairs are white...
Moral: Don't be over smart with today's kids!

Child: Mummy why Gandhiji had no hair on his head?
Mummy: Because he spoke truth only.
Child: Now I understood why ladies have long hairs...
The moral remains the same!
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  1. The Smart Neighbour
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