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Santa and Banta go for hunting. Santa has never gone hunting while Banta has hunted all his life. When they get to the woods, Banta tells Santa to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Banta checks out a deer stand.
After Banta gets about a quarter of a mile away, he hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Santa and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!"
Santa says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks (squirrels) crawled up my pants leg and said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"
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10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
9. I will stop sending email to my roommate.
8. I resolve to work with neglected children...my own.
7. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer my email.
6. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
5. I will stay on the computer as long as I want. What? OK,
dear...I'm coming. Never mind.
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Santa bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandhar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he did not reach in the evening, and not the next day either.
When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him, "Arre Puttar, ki hoya ?"
Santa got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Mrutti wale paagal ho gaye hain! Agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaae hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik ?" (These Maruti guys have gone crazy, they ve made four gears for going forward and just one for going back!)
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This woman dies, and when she gets to heaven she asks Saint Peter, "Would it be possible for me to get together with my dear departed husband? He died many years ago."
Saint Peter asks, "What's his name?"
"Allan Smith," replies the woman.
"Gee," says Saint Peter, "we've got a lot of Allan Smiths up here. But sometimes we can identify people by their last words. Do you happen to remember what his last words were?"
The woman thinks for a moment, then says, "Oh yes! I remember them! He said that if I ever slept with another man after he was gone, he would roll over in his grave."
"Oh!" says Saint Peter. "You mean Spinning Allan Smith!"
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A Manager of the branch bank found he had no space left to store old records.
He wrote to his regional manager Banta to for permission to destroy old records.
Banta Singh replied back: "I do not mind you destroying old records but please make sure you keep photo-copies of all the destroyed papers".
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Banta lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of a very good one in Mumbai, and went to him.
The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said, " Yes, I can put you right."
After the operation, bandages off, stitches out, he goes to his hotel.
The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon, and yells, "You bastard, you gave me a woman's ears."
"Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no difference whether it is a man's or a woman's."
"You're wrong, I hear everything, but I don't understand a thing!"
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Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

Sports Article Count: 80

Techies Article Count: 66

Celebrities Article Count: 42

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