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The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks an older priest to sit in on his sessions.
The new priest hears a couple confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.
The old priest says, "Cross you arms over your chest and rub your chin with one hand." The new priest tries this.
The old priest suggests, "Try saying things like, 'I see,' 'yes,' 'go on,' 'I understand,' and 'how did you feel about that?'"
The new priest says those things, trying them out.
The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than saying, 'Whoa... What happened next?'"
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Customer: I'd like to buy some dog food.

Salesman: Do you have a dog?

Customer: Yes.

Salesman: Where is he?

Customer: He's at home.

Salesman: I'm sorry, I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.

The next day, the same customer returns.

Customer: I'd like to buy some cat food.

Salesman: Do you have a cat?

Customer: Yes.

Salesman: Wellwhere is she?

Customer: She's at home!

Salesman: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.

The next day the customer returns again.

Salesman: What's in the sack?

Customer: Put your hand inside.

Salesman: HmmmIt's warm and moist! What is it?

Customer: I would like to buy some toilet paper.
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"Welcome to Heaven," St. Peter says to the newly arrived politician. "Before you settle in, you must spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress.
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Five Irishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.

The gorgeous blonde Italian customs agent stops and tells them, "It's illegal to put five people in a Quattro."

"What do you mean it's illegal?" asks the driver.

"Quattro means four," replied the blonde.

"Quattro is just the name of the car," the Irishman retorted in disbelief, "Look at the papers, this car is designed to carry five persons."

"You can't pull that one on me," replies the Italian customs agent, "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and are therefore breaking the law".

The driver replies angrily, "Brainless idiot! Call your supervisor over - I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"

"Sorry," she said sweetly, "he can't come right now. He's busy with two guys in a Fiat Uno."
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A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

Officer: You were speeding.

Man: No, I wasn't.

Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.

Man: But I wasn't speeding.

Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)

Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you an idiot?

Officer: Yes, you would.

Man: What if I just thought that you were?

Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.

Man: Fine, I think you're an idiot!
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I remember one time when I was home visiting my folks. My mom asked me to set the table for dinner. I opened the refrigerator and taped to the inside of the door was a risqu picture of a lovely, slender, perfectly built, but scantily clad young woman.
Mom, what s this?" I asked.
"Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to overeat," she answered.
"Is it working?" I asked.
"Yes and no," she explained. "I ve lost 15 pounds, but your dad has gained 20!"
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Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

Sports Article Count: 80

Techies Article Count: 66

Celebrities Article Count: 42

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