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1. Agar aapko kutta kaat le to aap usay kaat lein, hisaab baraabar....

2. Doodh phat jaaye to safed dhagay se siii lein.... Kisi ko pataa nahi chalega.

3. Agar aap ke baal girtay hon to mundan karwa lein, Phir nahi girenge.....

4. Agar rang gora karna ho toh, machhli kha k doodh pee lein, Safed ho jaaoge....

5. Agar gale me dard ho to kisi se gala dabwa lain... Phir kabhi dard nahi hoga....

6. Agar aap ke paaon ki ediyan phat
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There were these two not so bright guys, Santa and Banta, who had to get across the desert. Since they didn't have enough money for a car so they decided to buy a camel.
The camel dealer promised them that the camel would get them across the desert if they made sure he was full of water before they left.
They took the camel down to the water hole, but the camel would not drink.
Santa says, "I have a idea, why don't I hold his head down in the water and you suck
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A man is out walking his dog one day when it slips the leash and runs away.

As the man is chasing him down the street, the dog runs into a yard and bites the lady that lives there.

The woman rushes into the house and sends her husband out to deal with the man and his dog.

The dog owner is beside himself with worry as the husband approaches, and says, "Sir, how about a settlement. Would one thousand rupees do?"

The husband pauses for a moment and replies, "Sure, and if you come around next week, it's worth another one thousand."
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Granddaughter is sitting on Grandpa's lap as he reads the paper not paying any attention to her. So she starts studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve and rubs her fingers over the wrinkles and then over her own face and looks more puzzled.

She finally asks, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

'He sure did honey, a long long time ago", he replied.

"Well, did God make me?' she asked.

"Yes He did, and that wasn't too long ago," he answered.

She thought for a minute and then said, "Wow! He's sure doing a lot better job these days isn't He?"
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A principal of a small middle school had a problem with a few of the older girls starting to use lipstick. After applying lipstick in the bathroom they would then press their lips to the mirror and leave lip prints [purportedly practicing the perfect pucker].

Before it got out of hand he thought of a way to stop it. He gathered all the girls together who wore lipstick and told them he wanted to meet with them in the ladies room at 2 pm.

They gathered at 2pm
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There were two rich brothers who looked great on the outside, even attending church regularly, but whose hearts were evil.
A new, more astute pastor arrived at the church. The congregation grew and a fund raising campaign was started to extend the church.
All of a sudden, one of the brothers died. The day before the funeral the remaining brother sidled up to the pastor and gave him a cheque for the full amount needed to complete the extensions.
"Just one condition," he said."At the funeral you must say that my brother was a saint."
The pastor gave him his word and deposited the cheque. The next day, at the funeral, the pastor let it all go.
"He was an evil man," he said, hard on his wife and family, corrupt in business," and on and on. He concluded, "but, compared to his brother, he was a saint."
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Blondes Article Count: 126

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Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

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