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While walking down the street one day, a high ranking politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in." says the politician.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What
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Since I was the first to arrive at our high-tech company one morning, I answered the telephone. When the caller asked for field engineering, I explained that it was before normal business hours, but that I would help if I could.

"What's your job there?" the caller asked me.

"I'm the president," I replied.

There was a pause. Then he said, "I'll call back later. I need to talk to someone who knows something."
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An American delegation on a visit to India were being shown round the capital. In the evening they were taken to the Secretariat for a panoramic view of Vijay Chowk and Rajpath. Came the closing hour and thousands upon thousands of clerks poured out of their offices. The place was crammed with bicycles and pedestrians.

"Who are all these peoples?" asked the leader of the American delegation.

"They are the common people of India; the real rulers of the country," proudly replied the minister accompanying the visitors.

A few minutes later came a fleet of flag-bearing limousines escorted by pilots on motorcycles followed by jeeps full of armed policemen.

"And who are these?" asked the American.

"These are us," replied the minister with the same pride, "the servants of the people."
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Two blondes are walking down the street. One blonde finds a little mirror, looks in it, again and again. Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I've seen this face before!"
"Give it to me", says the other blonde.
She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, you silly! It's me!!"
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God offered his tablet of commandments to the world. He first approached the Italians.

"What commandments do you offer?" they asked.

He answered, "Thou shalt not murder."

They answered, "Sorry, we are not interested."

Next he offered it to the Romanians.

"What commandments do you offer?" they asked.

He answered, "Thou shalt not steal."

They answered, "Sorry, we are not interested."

Next he offered them to the French.

"What commandments do you offer?" they asked.

"Thou shalt not covet they neighbors wife."

"Sorry we are not interested," they answered.

Finally he approached the Jews.

"How much?" they asked.

"It's free," he answered.

"We'll take ten of them!"
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The company psychiatrist was interviewing the young blonde.

As she sat in the chair, the psychiatrist asked a series of questions to determine if she was emotionally suitable for the company. Things were not going well for the young blonde.

The psychiatrist decided to try a new approach, to give the blonde one last chance.

He asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."
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