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In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.

At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.

"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."

"Thanks," he said, "but he sure had me worried."

"How's that?" the lawyer asked.

"I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!"
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Jill calls her friend Linda, Linda picks up the phone.
Jill : "Do ya wanna go to the mall with me?"
Linda : "Why?"
Jill : "I need to study cosmetics"
Linda : "Why?"
Jill : "Well, my English teacher says,' I have a make-up exam on Monday
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"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday School class.

"NO!" the children all answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, "NO!"

"Well," I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"
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A tea party in honour of freedom fighters was in progress at Giani Zail Singhs house. Two other former Presidents, Neelam Sanjiva Reddy and R. Venkataraman were also present. Suddenly a group of terrorists took over the party. They lined up all the three former Presidents for execution.
As the firing squad got ready, Sanjiva Reddy yelled, "Earthquake!" and escaped in a commotion that followed.
The executioners got ready again, and as they took aim, Venkataraman shouted, "Flood!" and he too escaped in the confusion.
As the firing squad lined for the third time, Zail Singh decided to try the same idea and yelled, "Fire !!!!!"
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Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. Banta ran up.
The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you Rs 500."
Banta dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.
Depositing her at the feet of the man, Banta said, "Okay, where's my Five hundred?"
The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law."
Banta reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"
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On a long haul UK flight, a mother took her young son to the toilet and told him she would come back for him, in five minutes.

However, he was finished in two minutes so he left the toilet and wandered off down the aisle, in the opposite direction from where his mother was.

Meanwhile, a businessman entered the toilet and locked the door.

After the five minutes were up, the mother knocked on the door and called out, "Do you need any help with the zipper?"

From behind the door, a startled male voice said, "Good God!!! That's what I call service..."
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More Articles ...

  1. Passionate Love
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Sardarji Article Count: 1049

Political Article Count: 73

Women Article Count: 22

Thief Article Count: 18

Professor Article Count: 8

General Article Count: 1988

Non-Veg Jokes Article Count: 24

Kids Article Count: 413

Bollywood Article Count: 9

Doctor Patient Article Count: 289

Husband-Wife Article Count: 789

Religion Article Count: 173

Lawyers Article Count: 147

Blondes Article Count: 126

Bar Article Count: 127

Animal Kingdom Article Count: 70

Communities Article Count: 67

Sports Article Count: 80

Techies Article Count: 66

Celebrities Article Count: 42

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