A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were on their way to Heaven. God told them that the stairway to Heaven was 1000 steps, and that on every 25th step he would tell them a joke. He told them not to laugh at any of the jokes along the way or else they would not be able to enter heaven. The brunette went first and started laughing on the 150th step, so she could not enter heaven. The redhead went next and started laughing on the 350th step, so she could not enter heaven either. Then, it was the blonde's turn. When she got to the 999th step, she started laughing. "Why are you laughing?" God asked. "I didn't tell a joke." "I know," the blonde replied. "I just got the first joke."
An exhausted looking blonde dragged herself in to the doctor's office.
"Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."
"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."
"Great," the blonde answered, "I'll try anything. Let
Once a Blonde was traveling on a train. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived. This guy was a barber, and he felt that for 20 rupees, the Blonde deserved more service. So, when the Blonde fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard. When the station arrived, the Blonde was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. "What is the matter?" Says his wife. He replied, "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else."
A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Why did you give them names like that?" The blonde responded, "What else would you name watch dogs?"
There was this guy that lived acrossed from a blonde. He was outside mowing,and here comes the blonde. She goes to her mailbox, opens it, looks inside it, and slams it. In about ten minutes, here she comes again, opens her mailbox, looks in it and slams it shut looking upset. In about 15 more minutes here she comes again, opens her mailbox, looks in it, and slams it shut. The guy walks over and asked her what her problem was. She said "There is a sign on my computer that says I have mail."