A golfer sends his ball into the trees. As he tries to bring the ball back to the fairway, he discovers a gap among the trees. With his wooden club, he tries to hit the ball to the green in his second hit. However, the ball hits a tree, bounces back and lands in the golfer's face. He dies on the spot. At the heavenly gate, St Peter asks the golfer about his activities back on earth. When he hears that the man used to play golf, St Peter, with seeming interest, asks, "And were you any good at it?" "You could say that," the deceased smiles. "I made it here in two strokes."
One of the women, Mrs. Smith, for over a year, could never carry the water, and would always hit into it, totally psyched out by the presence of the water. Her friend in the group suggested that she might want to see a hypnotherapist to overcome her anxiety near the water. So the woman went to a hypnotherapist for four sessions. In those sessions, the woman was hypnotized and the therapist would "plant suggestions" that when playing the second shot on the sixth hole, she would not see water, but rather a plush green fairway leading all the way up to the green. About six months later, a woman at the club asked whatever happened to Mrs. Smith, that she hadn't seen her playing golf at the club for almost four months now. She was informed that five months earlier, Mrs. Smith had drowned at the par four sixth!
Comparing World Cup teams with Academics Performance.
India: A unpredictable student who either tops or fails miserably and has a rich daddy. Even if he fails the mother covers up by saying 'Atleast he has better marks than his other classmate called Pakistan.'
South Africa: A student who tops in units and semesters, but fails in the final exams.
Pakistan: A student who has the potential of being a topper but spends most of his time fighting and
A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!" The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?" "It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!" "Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it? What if you hit it into the water?" "No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long? Hit the damned ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Give me a break! You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."